Gene

My dad has a wonderful cousin in Chicago named Bret. Bret is a music teacher, a wonderful singer who, in fact, has sung The National Anthem for the Chicago White Sox and other professional teams. He's probably the most kind-hearted, easy going, giving person I've ever met who, I swear, inherited that "heart" from my great grandmother, Emma. His sincere kindness and warmth is only surpassed by his wife, Sue and together they are just incredible to be around. To paint a picture here, Bret and Sue are the people my whole family knows we don't get to see enough, don't get to be around enough and can't say enough nice things about.

This week Bret and Sue lost their only son, Gene, in a car accident.

Gene was a young guy in his early 20s, and was working a construction job, felt ill and drove home. On his way home, he passed out and drove his car off the road and died instantly. So our family is in a bit of shock and it's times like these that it's beyond words and action to imagine what they are going through. What Gene's grandma is going through. A parent burying a child is bad enough, a grandparent having to bury a grandchild? That's wrenching.

So I'm led to "Why?". I know the Sunday School answer is "God has a plan". Trust me, I've heard it. Many times. Last week I asked you to pray for Gabby in Mexico. To let her know "Daddy's got a plan". But still, Gene? Why? Gene was Bret and Sue's only son. Their daughter, Rachel, only had one brother. One sibling. Maggie had one grandson. And now he's gone. Why? No holiday, no birthday, no day will be the same for them moving forward. Wounds heal in time, but this goes way beyond a wound, this is true "loss".

Yesterday and a large part of this morning I wondered "why?" about Gene. Why it happened to him. Why it happened to Bret and Sue's son. Why it happened to Maggie's only grandson. And it was tough. And it will be for a while.

But here's what I know, God can take it. He can take your hard questions. Your anger. Your resentment. Your fear. You lashing out and demanding "Why?" He can take it when you can't. He knows you better than you know yourself. Psalm 139:23 says, "Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts". Let Him in. Ask for help in the tough times.

Psalm 22:2 reads, "O my God, I cry by day, but You do not answer; And by night, but I have no rest." Ever been there? Ever been that honest with God that you declare He's not answering you? That you have no peace and it's His fault? Test Him. Try Him. Call Him out. He's more than ok with that.

Later on in Psalm 61:1, like a final plea, David says, "Hear my cry, O God; attend to my prayer." Ever said anything that bold to God? Get that messy? It's not easy. It's not for the meek. It's not for those who smooth everything over with the chipper milquetoast mantra, "God's got a plan!"

In short, I don't know why Gene died. I don't need to know. That's for God and Bret and Sue and Rachel to work on through these tough days ahead and for the healing salve of Christ in the future. I don't know why you've been "messed over" in life. Why you've been hurt. Why you've been let down. Why you seem to get tested day in and day out only to be tested once again.

But God does.

And He wants a relationship with you. A real, honest, soul-bearing, "As I am Lord" relationship. And like all relationships, it's going to take work. There needs to be honest dialogue. There needs to be trust. There will be good times, there will be bad. Trials. Heartaches. Rough periods where you want to quit, and then times when it seems the world is yours. So get to know Him. Spend time with Him. Ask the hard questions. Don't make your relationship with God a hobby, make it your passion. Be brutally honest and open with God for one month and see what happens. Old wounds are healed. Mistakes are forgiven. Debts are canceled. Eyes are opened to something strangely new yet familiar at the same time.

Go for it.

Here's what else I know. That twenty-something kid, my cousin Gene, is a hero to twelve complete strangers and their families as his organs and corneas were able to be harvested. He instantly changed twelve people's lives forever. Forever. These people who were on waiting lists for months, maybe years, went from living by the second to a second chance to live because of Gene. And because of God.

Maybe you need your own second chance with God. So go...get honest with Him. Deepen your relationship with Him. Take a chance on him. Start by reading the Book of Psalms. And then write - and live - your own conversations with God.